


What a Mistake He Made

by AltyEx



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 5x19 coda, Angst, Author regrets nothing, Canonical Character Death, Elysian Fields (Supernatural), Feels, Gen, Hammer of the Gods, Lucifer angst and feels, Originally Posted on Tumblr, tumblr prompt fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-18
Updated: 2018-05-19
Packaged: 2019-05-01 02:37:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14510676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AltyEx/pseuds/AltyEx
Summary: This fic is based on UmbraeCalamitas's prompt over on Tumblr. The prompt was beautiful and tragic and Umbrae wanted to be made to cry. I had to oblige!Canon Gabriel death. Luci feels, angst.Have tissues handy!





	1. Elysium Fields

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This fic is based on UmbraeCalamitas's prompt over on Tumblr. The prompt was beautiful and tragic and Umbrae wanted to be made to cry. I had to oblige!
> 
> Canon Gabriel death. Luci feels, angst. 
> 
> Have tissues handy!

Lucifer watched as Dean and Sam escaped the ballroom, Kali just ahead of them. 

His focus shifted to Gabriel, quietly chuckling at the defiance in his posture. Oh how his baby brother had grown in the long absence! Must have been time spent with the pagans.

"Over a _girl_. Gabriel, really?" Lucifer made a gesture , ignoring the blood coated up to his elbow. "I mean, I knew you were slumming, but..I hope you didn't catch anything." He had to resist the urge to flick an imaginary flea from Gabriel's shoulder. 

Gabriel stared back, not an ounce of amusement on his face. "Lucifer..you're my brother. And I love you. But you are a great big bag of dicks." Gabriel took a step back, angel blade raised just a little higher between them.

Lucifer stared at his brother, confusion and a hint of puzzlement on his vessel's ravaged face. "Wait, what did you just say to me?" Never had the youngest archangel dared speak to him like..like an insolent pagan!

"Look at yourself!" Gabriel tipped his blade to indicate Lucifer. The pockmarked skin, clothes coated in blood, gore, and Dad knew what else. He was a mess; it pained Gabriel to see just how far his brother had fallen.

"Boo hoo! Daddy was mean to me, so I'm gonna smash up all his toys!" Lucifer glared at Gabriel, incredulity and warning clear in his voice. "Watch your tone, little brother." Gabriel dared to close some of the distance, nearly dancing as he went.

"Play the victim all you want. But you and me? We know the truth. Dad loved you best. More than Michael, more than me." Gabriel paused, breath slightly erratic, as he took in his brother's reaction. Lucifer steadily met his gaze, a tiny tick in his jaw the only outward sign of his annoyance. 

Hint of an amused smirk in his voice, Gabriel continued. "Then Dad brought the new baby home and you couldn't handle it. So really? This is all just one big temper tantrum. Time to grow  _up,_ big brother." Gabriel flashed Lucifer a cocky smile, never stopping in his distracted walk. 

Lucifer matched him move for move, eyes narrowed while he contemplated the younger archangel's words. "Gabriel, if you're doing this for Michael.." He let just a hint of reprimand color his voice, slipping into the role of wise older brother as though he had never fallen.

Gabriel made a truly horrific sound, somewhere between a snort and a chuckle. "Screw Michael! If he were here, I'd shiv his ass too!" He waved the angel blade in what he seemed to think was a threatening manner.

Lucifer ignored it, chose to focus rather on Gabriel. That little.."You disloyal--" "Oh, I'm _loyal."_ The angel blade curved before Lucifer, as Gabriel cut him off. _"_ To  _them_!" Lucifer scoffed, scorn clear in his voice. "Who? These so-called Gods?" Anger and impatience flashed briefly Gabriel's honey eyes. "To _people_ , Lucifer. To people!" Disbelief colored his voice. Could his brother really be so dense? 

"So you're willing to die, for a pile of cockroaches." Gabriel stood still for an instant, gaping at his brother, while Lucifer rolled his eyes, more than done trying to get Gabriel to realize how wrong this all was. "Why?" Gabriel gestured with his free hand, fingers spread to encompass the world outside the ballroom. "Because Dad was right. They  _are_ better than us."

The older archangel shook his head, unable to comprehend how his baby brother could be so.. _blind_! Yes, he had been cast into Hell, confined within the Cage for daring to speak against their Father. But at least he had stayed! Not turn tail and run, like Gabriel had!

Gabriel the baby. Gabriel..his favorite. Lucifer allowed just a just a hint of his true voice to leak into his vessel's words. "They are broken.  _Flawed!_ Abortions, Gabriel! Some of Dad's creations we're wonderful, but humanity? Not one of those special few."

Gabriel met his expression head on, something deep and unknown glimmered in the depths of his eyes. His knuckles were nearly white around the blade's hilt, the only giveaway he allowed. "Damn right they're flawed! But alot of them try. To _do_ better. To forgive." He paused, watching his brother. Though he knew Lucifer would never come around, it hurt not to at least  _try._

A millennia Gabriel had been separated from his family, from the _Host_. A millennia of hiding, running, memories..memories crisp and new. Always he longed for the old days. Before the fighting. Before God left. Before he let cowardice run ripshod over common sense, leading him to hide his grace and join the pagans.

Absently he shakes his head, more to clear his thoughts than anything. Turn his attention back on the Morningstar, who seemed similarly affected. The two of them were alike in so many ways.

"I've been riding the pine a long time. But I'm in the game now, and I'm not on your side, or Michael's. I'm on _theirs_!" 

That seemed to snap Lucifer out of whatever past he'd fallen into, if the scorn in his voice was any indication. "Brother, don't make me do this." 

"No one makes us do anything, Luci." Barely a flick of his gaze over the older archangel's shoulder. "I know you think you're doing the right thing, Gabriel. But I know where your heart _truly_ lies." Lucifer spun on his heels, snatched the angel blade from a suprised Gabriel's slack hand and drove it deep into his stomach. Free hand came up to cradle the smaller man's cheek. " _Here._ " 

Lucider leaned in close, nearly nose to nose, whispering, "Amateur hocus pocus. Don't forget you learned all your tricks from  _me,_ little brother." 

He released Gabriel with a slow smirk, waiting for the inevitable laugh and brush off the wound. After all, an angel's own grace couldn't hurt them. 

What he didn't expect was Gabriel to scream as his grace burned from the inside out. He dropped to the ground, blacked silhouette of wings scrawled across the floor. Charred feathers floated in the air, almost a merry dance,  _taunt,_ while Lucifer stared at his brother.

No, no.. **No!** No, this could never..was  **NEVER** supposed to happen! Dad made sure of  _that!!_ No angel..seraph or archangel, were _immune_ to any angel blade aside from their _own_..!

Lucifer _screamed_ his horror and anguish to the heavens, his uncaring father, across the cosmos, while he fell beside his baby brother and lifted him into his lap. The echo of his true voice rose in a crescendo over angel radio, but he paid it no mind. The sole of his focus was on the man cradled in his arms, face buried in golden hair. 

Once more Lucifer raged to the universe, unconscious of his actions as he swayed where he sat. Uncomprehending was the depth of his grief. _What had he_   _done?!_

"Gabriel..Oh Dad above.. **Gabriel!** " This time the building shook at it's very foundation, almost collapsing on the pair. Lucifer stayed as he was, brushing hair back from a pale face, murmuring nonsense in Enochian. Old pranks, fond memories, stories from  _before._

Long had the archangel considered his heart stone. Hard and unyielding. It was the only way he could handle being cast out, thrown aside, locked deep in the Cage for a time beyond remembering.

But as he knelt there, the body of his brother cold in his arms and surrounded by all that remained of the youngest archangel's wings, Lucifer realized one thing.

He was no better now than he had been  _before_ the Fall. Only now..his hubris cost Gabriel his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can never thank Umbrae for allowing me to take her prompt and turning it into something so..tragic. 
> 
> How could I turned down a beautiful prompt when dared by many of my favorite people?! 
> 
> You can find both us (and this prompt!) over on Tumblr!
> 
> Me   
>  UmbraeCalamitas
> 
> I post snippet of the chapter I'm working on, before doing final edits and moving it here! 
> 
> I tag all my writing as #Chelsea writes.


	2. Gabriel's Grove

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here we are, chapter 2!
> 
> As the title states.. we're leaving Elysian Fields, and a canon behind.
> 
> To paraphrase my dear Crowley, "Buckle up, buttercup. It's gonna be a bumpy ride!"

Lucifer, if questioned later, could never be certain how long he stayed in that decrepit ballroom, clinging to the last person left from his former life. 

After awhile, the charm wore off the old hotel. The glitz and sparkle faded from sight, as whatever spell cast upon it disintegrated with the decaying ruins of former gods.

Lucifer paid it no mind, so focused on the body nestled in his arms. Because that was all that was left of Gabriel. The burned out vessel of Heaven's Messenger, reduced to smeared remnants of grace layed across a disinterested floor. 

Over time, Lucifer would come back to himself. In..pieces. How long had he sat on that floor, still as an unmovable boulder? Days..? Weeks even? Long enough, for his vessel's arms to go numb from holding his dear baby brother.

Which..could not happen. Not at all.

To the Host, weight was merely a concept, not a reality.

Why, _once_! Lucifer had dared both Michael  _and_ Raphael to lift a few of the bigger dinosaurs! Oh, how they had  _refused,_ not wanting to anger Dad. Only Gabriel..bright, shining, Messenger, had taken the challenge and lifted the heaviest one he could find! Lucifer had been so proud, and now..

 _Endless_ were his sins, many of his own arrogance, that he could avoid. Yet..This was one not so easily cast aside. 

Drawn were his eyes to what had become of his youngest brother. Only to gasp, surprised, at his own hands. Hands that were carding through golden locks, clearing away from a slack face.

So  _deeply_ ingrained was his need to care for the Host, that even  _now,_ he'd been.. _trying.._

Within the privacy of his own mind, the thought nearlyunbearable.

Lucifer scoffed at his blatant denial. There was no  _nearly_ about it. It took him a few moments, spent watching blood stained fingers endlessly sort and comb neat curls, attempt to bring order to Gabriel.." _Vessel_." Hoarse, cracked and raw, was his voice. 

_How long?_

How long since he'd screamed his injustice to the world? That was what he refused to relinquish.

Not  _Gabriel._ Merely a hollow vessel, devoid of the archangel inside. Gabriel was  _gone._ Lost to the world. No amount of care and affection could bring him back. 

Not from an angel blade.

_From his blade!_

Once he'd admitted those awful words, to himself, to..what remained of his sweet Gabriel, it was as if the dam built inside had finally broken. 

Lucifer gave himself over to the grief, yes, even  _acceptance,_ never stopping his slow, careful motions. 

Pick up a curl. 

Rub between thumb, forefinger.

Smooth behind Gabriel's ear.

Repeat..

Only once Lucifer made Gabriel presentable again, did he manage to gather the other archangel off the floor, wretched angel blade cast negligently to the side. 

Passed the moldering carcasses, through warped and broken doorways, into the dusky hues of fading daylight. Fresh, sweetly cool air ravaged the fallen archangel's senses, harsh after days of spent confined in death, and that tangy, rusty copper tang of spilled blood.

A breeze snaked about the pair, almost a caress, where it ruffled through Lucifer's dirty blonde hair, sent Gabriel's formerly ordered curls into disarray once more.

Lucifer took his time to simply stand there, eyes closed when he tipped his head to the heavens, felt the clamoring over angel radio, like an itch just out of reach. 

All of it was tuned out, ignored.

Nothing.. _nothing_   _mattered anymore._

Not his impending battle against Michael and the Host. 

The rage he'd carried towards his father, for casting him down barely acknowledged. 

The desire to shed his failing vessel for Sam Winchester, didn't warrant a thought. 

Why should he bother, in the wake of his worst sin to date? 

Taken aback at direction his thoughts chose, Lucifer let it carry on. 

So long ago, when Cain committed the first murder, became the _father of murder,_ as the Morningstar himself was the prince of lies, he'd been curious as to  _why?_  

Perhaps, he pondered, eyes on Gabriel's motionless face, watched dying light play across too pale skin, it had been a _mistake._

An accident of the highest caliber.

Not unlike his -..

" _No._ No more lies, not even to yourself Lucifer. Gabriel is  _dead_ because you let arrogance, and an overgrown _pride_ carry that blade.." Broken voiced, he whispered the words in Gabriel's neck, "right into your baby brother's heart.." 

There was no taking any of it back now. No Dad, no Michael, to blame, to insist made it come to pass. 

True night fallen around them, Lucifer picked a direction; set off for the hotel's rear and the dense forest beyond. 

Hours Lucifer walked, deeper and further into the woods, paying no mind to the branches that assaulted him, unless they posed a danger to Gabriel. 

Miles he went, passes the point of civilization, far into the wilderness, where the trees grew thick and heavy, blocked the bright moonlight from sight. 

Thoughts scattered, varied, like the branches littered under his feet, the archangel went, until suddenly, he was in a massive clearing. Nothing except smooth, glossy green flowing deeper than he cared to grasp. 

Eyes shut, abused lungs drew deep, earthy air in, Gabriel's vessel clutched tight in his embrace. 

This..this would perfect for the Messenger. 

Gentle as ever, Lucifer laid Gabriel out in the patchy silver beams, struggled to filter a canopy meant to 

The Morningstar hesitated, palm hovered over the Messenger's brow, pale eyes trained on his blood stained digits. 

His baby brother _deserved better!_

All around, the woods shuddered from the power of his true voice. Branches creaked ominously, leaves whispered their sorrow.

How could he lay hands on Gabriel, in this sacred place, when he still bore evidence of his senseless massacre?!

Grief struck, Lucifer crashed alongside Gabriel, sat there to contemplate the choices at his disposal. 

Light as a feather, he ran fingers through the moss, springy leaves cool to the touch. 

Breath eased out on an inaudible sigh, the fallen archangel scrubbed at his face.

With _clean_ hands. 

Flummoxed, stared at his hands, then the moss spread around the grove. The moss.. _cleansed_ his sins. 

At least the _visible_ ones. 

Lucifer took his time, each action precise, to make sure Gabriel would be comfortable. "You'd love it, Gabe. Reminds me of Joshua's garden, the back garden only we were allowed in.."

Gradually, he drifted into Enochian, rambling, managed Gabriel's clothes to rights, honey blonde locks combed back, arms crossed over his chest. 

By his knee, Lucifer plucked a small bundle of four leaf clovers, wound then into the smaller man's hands, murmuring a low lullabye from their childhood. 

Heart a lead weight in his chest, he bent over to brush his lips over Gabriel's forehead, whispered, "I can  _never_ forgive myself, baby brother. Please know I love you." 

Choking on the words, he swallowed hard, nails dug into the ground, fought to continue, "And I won't forget you. Not again." 

One last pass of fingers over waxy flesh, Lucifer allowed another moment to admire Gabriel, laid out like an offering, before leaving the sanctuary, and his last piece of compassion, behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow!
> 
> This story is blowing up on Tumblr and seeing it here is just..i can't explain.
> 
> I hope everyone is enjoying the story, and be aware of your comfort level, because this story can get pretty dark! 
> 
> Come scream at me on Tumblr!


End file.
